living in the moment

i think it’s possible to experience heaven here on earth.

i believe God intended heaven to be a current possibility rather than a futuristic concept.

these the past 28 years i’ve been wrung dry by worry. i’m not sure why. i’ve been sad and in constant motion, ever doing, never resting, all for fear of wasting time.

within this time i’ve felt very distant from God. detached. like he doesn’t hear, doesn’t see, doesn’t listen.

this morning i read Psalm 22: “Oh my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.” i thought to myself, “exactly.”

then i went for a run. a membrane of thin cloud stretched across the sky. underneath my feet, gravel; at my sides, stretches of wheat fields as far as the eye could see. in my ears, Nightwish, my new favourite band. then all of a sudden, a thought which i could only attribute to God: “remember when i said ‘watch me take care of you?'”

and i did. i remembered. it was a few weeks ago while i was weeding my flower bed. i heard in my mind “watch me take care of you.”

then i was let go from my job and all sorts of other fears flooded my mental-scape and i began to forget about that divine message.

my husband is always telling me to live in the moment. i realized–in that particular moment on that gravel trail in my neck of the woods–that God was saying i had chosen not to hear him. chosen not to listen.

so i came home and decided to take a vacation from my worries. i was going to watch as God took care of me. i would live in the moment, thinking only about current events and choosing to enjoy myself, to rise above circumstances and simply ‘be.’

why, i wondered, did God make us capable of fear and worry? why does he allow us to go through such pain?

it was then that i realized it takes going through hell to appreciate heaven. and on earth, we have a choice… we can experience heaven on a daily basis… we can surrender our worries, and let our minds and souls be flooded with peace knowing someone is taking care of us.

it’s not about going through hell now with the hope that someday we’ll die and get to heaven; it’s about making heaven a part of our every-day existence.

forgiving. redeeming what is lost. trusting. letting go. living in the moment.

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5 Comments

  1. ammeepearl said,

    July 18, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    hmmm — I do love this blog … one of my fav. books is Eccesiastes (I don’t think I spelled that right, but anyways, you get my point). i often have days that I struggle with the very meaning of existence here, why things are so hard (or maybe seem to easy) … and then I find myself just over-thinking things and realizing that I am just NOT enjoying what God’s given me, and in Ecc. is says that we should just enjoy our work and our life (even though everything seems meaningless) … good thoughts to ponder, … I don’t think they have an end! lol

    I’ll have to check out this band you keep mentioning …

    love you girl! a.

  2. July 18, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    Great insights!! I lived a similar existence “in constant motion, ever doing, never resting, all for fear of wasting time.” Then I found SOUL SPACE. I highly recommend this amazing book by Jerome Daley. It changed my life and taught me how to experience heaven on earth.

    Another great book is RUNNING ON EMPTY: CONTEMPLATIVE SPIRITUALITY FOR OVERACHIEVERS (by Fil Anderson). Since we have a lot of stuff in common –including baggage–I expect you might also be one of those overachievers, Emily. 🙂 I think you’ll get a lot out of this book, too.

    Have a great trip and a good rest.

    xxx
    Sharon

  3. July 18, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    If you can’t find a copy of SOUL SPACE in any bookstores or online book sellers, and you’d like to have it, let me know. It’s recently gone out of print (big shame) and I happen to have a couple extra copies. I’d be happy to send you one, Emily.

  4. joannamallory said,

    July 23, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Emily, thanks for sharing this. “Watch me take care of you.” Beautiful.

  5. melanie said,

    July 23, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    Thanks for that reminder Em. I need to enjoy this moment that the Lord has given me and choose to experience heaven on earth. Beautifully written.

    love,
    Mel


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