the makings of a mother

i used to take pride in creating, in doing–

in the work of my hands…

now, i am forced to simply sit, babe to breast, and nurse… hours each day… staring down at soft cheeks pressed against my skin, breathing in the scent of milk and baby newness…

this is my day. letting little one feed… when not with milk, i use words: i read to him from a children’s bible full of poetry and pictures… he sits in my lap and i pray somehow these stories nurse his soul…

sometimes we dance.

sometimes we just sit and stare at each other… his blue eyes probing my soul with their furrowed brow.

and sometimes, i lay, with him on my chest, letting my heartbeat reassure him the world is one big womb… and mommy’s here.

at the end of the day, the laundry still needs doing, supper remains half-finished and the dishes are left untouched, but

i have mothered. to the best of my ability.

and that, in the end, is what matters.

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4 Comments

  1. meghan said,

    November 20, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    It is. The world becomes so secondary, doesn’t it? I can’t wait to see more photos of you with your little man.

  2. Linda said,

    November 21, 2009 at 1:22 am

    It is all-consuming this mothering. The day will come when the laundry will be under control, supper will be finished and all will be well – especially with that precious little one because you are doing exactly what needs to be done most right now.

  3. Teneale said,

    November 21, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    I totally agree! And eventually chores will make its way back into your schedule, and there will be more of a routine, but not until about 6 months from now, so don’t even think about it! All my love!

  4. melanie said,

    November 24, 2009 at 4:23 am

    this is what is most important…I love how the world stands still for awhile…just you and your little one, and nothing else really matters.

    enjoy nourishing your little one with milk and word.

    šŸ™‚


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