mothers of the world

“this is the colour purple,” i tell my bright eyed boy. early morning diaper changing… aiden is staring at the walls. transfixed. i try to think of other things which are purple. “grapes, royalty…” and my mind goes blank. i laugh and he gives me a gaseous smile. i pretend it’s meant for me.

he’s performing his dance of the dawn. his limbs move fast and furiously; i try to wrap the cloth diaper around his ballerina legs, but he’s stiffened into a pirouette, and suddenly, his arms fling out and his legs splay apart and now, he’s crouching down and then jumping into the air. all while lying flat. i fear one of these days he’ll dance his way off the table. another moment of nervous mother-prattle to a God who always listens.

it’s feeding time… i sit, read my Bible while he lies at my breast… us both, nursing–him with milk, me with holy word…

and then, i read to him his Bible, while he stares at the Christmas lights, white and twinkly.  i pat his back. we sit, his head beneath my chin, soft baby scalp, and his hiccups match my heartbeat… we are silent in this morning embrace. i try to sit still, to not think of laundry or dishes or unwritten books… to let this moment mean something. because all too soon he’ll be all legs–running circles–resisting my hold.

he begins to yawn; bright eyes dull, and he whimpers… it’s nap-time. so easily finished with the world’s colours and sounds… so honestly done.

as he sleeps, i stare down at my baby and see everything i could be: all of the badness, and all of the goodness, and beg God to rid the sin for my little one’s sake…

mothers of the world, i applaud you. i didn’t know until now, how the future of the earth rests on your shoulders…

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3 Comments

  1. meghan said,

    December 8, 2009 at 4:49 am

    I can’t even put into words how this post has impacted me. But I couldn’t write _nothing_. How, then, would you know it was so appreciated? 🙂 Keep on writing, Em. When you have the time, of course…

  2. Teneale said,

    December 9, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Beautifully written Em. I LOVE the ballerina dance, it made me smile. Mom told me Aiden moves a lot! Good luck once he starts walking! haha. But thats a long way off. Definitely try to enjoy every moment. And welcome to motherhood, all the joys, trials and responsibility that goes with it. Thank God that He is here to help!

  3. Denise said,

    December 11, 2009 at 5:30 am

    This is beautiful, Em. So good to take the time for snuggles instead of worrying about the housework that needs to be done… I once had an old, lonely woman tell me that the worst part of being old was that her house always stayed exactly the way she left it. No one to make show their presence by making a mess… it’s always been a great reminder to me to put housework in perspective (in light of eternity). You’re doing great 🙂


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