bigger than biggest

mum is at the door, laden with bags stuffed with books, slippers, diaper, her cheeks frosted with winter. it’s wednesday. she comes here, while dad is gone. aiden is crying from somewhere deep inside him, a cry i’m not sure how to soothe, and so i just pat his bum whisper prayers begging God to breathe quiet so i can tend to mum. then, when baby rests, i turn, and she’s sitting at the table, still in her winter coat and boots, smiling at me. winter still frosted on her cheeks. slowly i help her de-thaw; we eat pea soup together, she tells me about her morning, pulls out her pills, and spends the afternoon trying to swallow them. finally i help her down for her nap, tucking her deep under duvet, pulling the blinds, kissing her forehead and praying God give her rest to heal her mind. mum turns to me, touches my cheek with hand worn from raising four children. “i love you bigger than biggest,” she says. eyes like blue earthenware on the pillow. i nod, swallow hard, kiss her one more time. shut the door.

i hear Jesus echoing mum, from humble-hanging on the cross. loving us bigger than biggest. every hour, every day.

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  1. Linda said,

    February 10, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Such a sweet picture of love – both of you. You are a dear daughter Em.
    There is a little package on its way to you – finally!
    I really like your new look.

  2. Catherine said,

    February 11, 2010 at 1:25 am


  3. meghan said,

    February 11, 2010 at 1:37 am

    Ugh, I LOVE this, Em.

  4. Teneale said,

    February 13, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    Thanks for sharing these very private moments with us so we can travel along your road with you. I swear, I sometimes think I’m there with you. I truly feel like I”ve met Aiden already, even though I haven’t. I love him so much though, and I’m so happy to be his Aunty!

  5. February 18, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    You are such an inspiration.
    love to you

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