he grips my finger…

i am nursing; reach across baby-head to type, to write the article which i’ve been assigned, but he stops me,

soft baby finger curling around mine, gripping tight as milk bubbles whiten bow-lips and i look down,

reminded of this creation in my arms and convinced to ignore the voice inside that urges onwards. ever-striving. ever wording and imagining.  “not now mommy,” he seems to be saying, finger twist-tie tight. “me, now, mommy.”

i am forced by infant wisdom to smell his downy hair and notice how age is scribbling across his forehead through tiny blue veins… made to sit still in the measure of a moment and be needed by my son. to pray for his days to come, to become mother to him–not just through milk but through my quiet vision, cast solely on him.

and even when he stops drinking and sighs and i lean his body against my shoulder, burp the milk deep from inside his chest, he keeps holding on, not wanting to let go, and i let him, because i need this too.



  1. Linda said,

    March 3, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Yes, and wisely you stop and invest in what is of eternal value. You are mothering with such loving wisdom dear Em.

  2. Teneale said,

    March 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    So beautiful. Time passes quickly. I love those moments with Logan even more now, because they already come less often. Those stop doing the dishes and chase me around moments, those stop reading your book and read me a book moments, those I’m so sleepy so I’m going to cuddle with you for 5 seconds moments…so precious.

  3. marge said,

    March 4, 2010 at 6:41 am

    hi Em we liked your writing, we can’t wait to see Aiden. It sounds like a precious moment that is for sure. The next moment he will be joining the army. Time really flies by. love mom and dad xoxox

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