will you take care of me forever?

face red he lies, eyes under pillow, me touching hand where the tarnished gold of ring digs deep worn farm-boy finger. he can’t move, for the migraine blinding fast, and i remember, eight years ago, me cooling fever-forehead and him asking shaky, “will you take care of me forever?” and me falling on him in forgetful joy, forgetful of his brain-pain but him letting me, laughing a little, as we thought of marriage and children and dancing forever this slow wedded waltz, and here we are, eight years later, tarnished gold on fingers staining skin, my hand still on his brow, a little boy asleep in nearby bassinet.

and now, remembering the run in hay-fever sun, the run in which i heard heaven’s voice: “this is the man i’ve prepared for you…” and knowing now, that voice, ever closer, confirming each day, “this is the man” and me leaning on these words and us leaning on each other’s broken bodies and making most of shortened days…

and soon, to follow this man out west, to live in a house we haven’t bought, to work at jobs we haven’t claimed, to live lives we’ve never known, to go in faith, as we did seven years ago when we whispered ‘i do’ under flower-trellis in my parents’ backyard.

and i step each day in a journey that’s been prepared for us… not knowing, just mending fevered love, and touching the hand where the gold of wedding ring glints bright…

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6 Comments

  1. Sandy said,

    April 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    So beautiful, so inspiring…..so magical. xo

  2. Teneale said,

    April 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    So sorry to hear about Trents migraine. Tesh has been getting a lot lately too. What an amazing journey you two have been on, and both of you have come a long way! What a leap of faith! Hopefully we will be able to make the transition a little easier! Hugs.

  3. Linda said,

    April 23, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    I cannot tell you how I just revel in your writing – words that so obviously pour from your heart Em. This moves me beyond words.
    I am praying the Father will go before you, walk beside you and carry you along the way.
    I know that as you follow Him, He will guide you along the best pathway for your lives, advise you and watch over you (Ps.32). He has a good plan.
    Praying, too, for Trent’s migraine.

  4. Aunty D said,

    April 23, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Hi Em. Oh my goodness, your words continue to amaze me, in how you touch lives and hearts! Here I sit, a weeping basketcase, so to speak, tears running down my cheeks, so moved with emotion. Migraines are a terrible thing! I suffered for years with them, mine being hormonal. I give thanks to God that painful part of my life is past. My heart goes out to Trent, as he suffers, and to you having to watch that. Thank you for having a servant heart and ministering to his needs. You are right, he is a precious man!

    I sit here today, awaiting Derk’s arrival home next week. His plane flight was cancelled for April 20, due to the volcano ash. He is getting so anxious to return home. Hi Mom still lives, though now mostly sleeping, sedated a lot by morphine to calm her anxiety in not being able to breathe well any more. She does not eat, only sips water, and then asleep again. Her heart is strong, but she physically deteriorates with each day. I had so hoped the Lord would take her home so that Derk could attend her funeral. But it does not look like that will happen. So difficult. It will be 3 weeks since he left. So we leave it all in God’s hands because He knows.

    Yes, we continue to pray for you and Trent also in that God will provide for all your needs and also pave the way for you, as you walk in faith in your move out west. May your faith be strong and your heart filled with hope for the future that God has planned for you. Jer. 29:11

    Take good care, keep the faith. We love you lots!

  5. April 24, 2010 at 2:59 am

    love this.

    love you.

    love your faith.

    go Abraham, go to the country i will show you.

  6. sheri said,

    April 24, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I don’t know you except thru your words and you don’t me but you have touched my heart. Sometimes we forget that love is more simple than we make it sometimes…Keeping the promise to care forever and to go where he goes…Your journey couldn’t have been easy but know that as God leads you, He has brought you together. When you’ve left all that’s familiar and comfortable, you learn to lean on and depend on each other. And now it seems you’ve begun a new leg in this journey thru parenthood—scariest part yet! Keep on as you have thus far….Care for each other and care for this precious little one, facing every roadblock and every opportunity together…with God as the twine that bind you together. Be blessed as you journey on..


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